Congratulations from your City Manager (Does this sound like North Richland Hills, Texas?)
(A Satirical Letter from the City Manager to the Mayor and Council)
Written by Ron West
January 25, 2005
Dear Mayor and Council Members,
I would like to take this opportunity to congratulate you on your continual rubber stamping of all the new ordinances that my staff and I can dream up. The fact that most of the ordinances that we submit are approved with unanimous votes is truly a vote of confidence in our staff and me.
You are certainly due some thanks since so many of the ordinances are long and difficult (by design) to read. I know that often, there is just not time for you to even read all of them before you approve them, but our thanks for making them law anyway. As you know, with all of our existing ordinances, we have considerable power in dealing with the local citizenry.
The recent changes to the sign ordinance are also to be applauded with some thanks to our City Attorney. His continual "interpretation" of all state laws in such a way that we can do what we want to do is truly grand. We also all know that even if any of us do anything wrong, it is so costly for anyone to challenge our actions that we face almost no threat at all. Even if we are absolutely wrong, again, thanks to our City Attorney, he seems to be able to come up with endless defenses (as long as we continue to pay him the big bucks.)
We are privileged in this city that ordinances and actions can be taken without having to listen to all the little people our there. Our new ordinances become law before they even know what is being done and your handling of citizen input is brilliant. Just think, you only have to listen to a few folks for a measly 2 minutes at the most. Even when they comment on a sensitive subject, you can simply ignore it by hiding behind laws that say you can't discuss it unless it is on the agenda. Of course - when it is on the agenda - you use the same laws to keep the citizens from being able to say anything. What a wonderful place to be City Manager.
My thanks again to all of you and I am looking forward to a long and profitable tenure with the city - since I can make sure that my raises are in the budget that no one could take the time to read or find.
Sincerely,
Your Faithful City Manager